Don't Make Me Cry.

I just wrote a new song. If I were gifted enough to actually play it on the piano, I would... but I'm not, so bleh. It's very bluesy if you're wondering. And if you're wondering what the title is, you don't have to look too far... seriously.

What to blog about now?

Last night was fun. Plus one-ness is awesome-ness. Now, I'm just waiting for the pics.

What else?

This morning was not. Trust me.

No Fear, please make yourself available already! :D Thank you.

Since my mind is blank anymore, that's it for now.

Late Night Update#4

I love these updates. They're fun.

I'm developing my writing skills, which is awesome. Don't you agree? If last time I was thinking about vlogs, (God, that still sounds awful to me. Why can't it be called blogees or blogeos or viddies or something. Okay, those were bad suggestions.) this time, I'm thinking of writing a blog.

Okay, I'm prolly not making any sense to you right now. Here. So I watched 'Julia & Julie' a few weeks ago, remember? So it's about Julie Powell--who writes a blog about her cooking adventures. No, I'm not saying I'm going to write a blog about my cooking adventures. I'm thinking, I wanna expand my audience? I dunno. I think it'll be fun. But what do you think?

Doing this everyday is fun. And yes, it's better than doing it in some one else's persona. I'm sorry, I think I get too brain dead to get ideas for a new story everyday. Hehe. Yes, hundreddays guy is prolly dead by now.

You know what else is fun? Brilliant, 100-point poems. Yes my poem 'If the stars align tonight, what would my mother say?' got me a hundred points. That's what. I literally jumped for joy. That was a gamble. I didn't know if it would hit or not. But it did, thank God.

What else have I been writing? A journal. Yes. May blog na ako, may journal pa.

Since I didn't know what to do with my Starbucks planner, I made it a journal. So every night for the last two nights, I've been writing about some thought or feeling that I had the day. Before I shut out the lights, I'd be on my bed, writing some vague personal reflection on something really, really personal. Hehe. (The last two have been about a certain person ;) )

Yes, It's 1:50. I'm way past my curfew. (So I'm not only diabetic, but also a political prisoner. I kid.) But put it into context: I woke up at 11pm. Happy?

Anyhow. I read another article from Yahoo! Lists of Banned Words for 2010.

Crazy. I don't think 'sexting,' 'app,' 'friend' as a verb, 'tweet,' or 'Obama' as a prefix will go out of season anytime soon. They kidding? Though I do agree with one commenter. They should stop attaching "-gate" to related scandals. I just find it useless.

I made a better eggy in a basket. This time, it wasn't fail. That was random.

I don't have anything much to update about now. Crazy.

So I'll shut up and go to bed. Besides, there's a mosquito that won't seem to leave me.

Of Dreams and Football

I just read this damn sad article on Yahoo! It's about two football quarterbacks on a very sad night.

I know what you're thinking. "Why the hell are you--of all possible people--reading about football?" Well, the title seemed really interesting... as well as the very sad picture. "College star's tearful throws to dad." I had just been watching Adaptation (Meryl Streep, Nicholas Cage), and the title seemed to have the makings of a good film.

I'd link it once again. (See my Plurk/Facebook) However, the damn link closed down on me. All the comes up is Yahoo can't find the damn page. Wth. Just a few minutes after reading. Not even the Yahoo site brings up the right link.

But just in case it comes back up: try it again.

The article was very well-written. And I was listening to the emo side of Laura Izibor ("Mmm..." Really good Irish soul singer).

It made me feel quite sad, it did. A dream slashed is, I believe, is just the saddest experience one can have. I really sympathize for them. I do.

To dreams... and dreams. Fuck reality.

Sigh.

Late Night Update

I'm on a roll. Am I night?

It's my third consecutive night of blogging. I'm enjoying this. Aren't you? (That was rhetorical. But you know, if you wanna leave a comment and say YES. Why not?) I doubt how long I'll be able to keep this up. Things are gonna get pretty intense once all the homework start pouring in and the rehearsals get more serious. But this is cool for now.

What to say? Ahh. My weekend.

For my weekend, I was planning to watch competition/support a few friends. What do I mean? A certain school on the same street is performing Grease. Hehe. However, that was cancelled. I'm now going to a debut. Lol. So I'll be partying instead.

What else? My diabetic life! (No. I DO NOT have diabetes, mind you. I'm calling it that now.)

I think I'm getting used to the lack of sweets. I wasn't looking for anything tonight. Yeah, female dog! Instead, I cooked a failed version of eggs in a basket. It still tasted god, but the egg definitely wasn't just in the basket. It was everywhere. :|

Since we are talking about food, I'm gonna be cooking this weekend as well. Why? Because I'm tired of ham sandwiches and peanut butter sandwiches and whatever sandwiches. I shall teach my maids how to make other sandwiches. What exactly? I dunno. But what's life if we don't do some Dora-ing. (Not rat killing. Exploring.)

Add to that, I'm going to succeed at making eggs in a basket this time!

Anyhow. Today, we had a very interesting talk from Mr. Francis Kong.

He's an amazing speaker, I must admit. Really got us going. I just don't remember now the main idea of what he was talking about.

Now, it's 12:55. I shall leave to make my 1:00 deadline.

Wish me luck on the Shakespeare quiz! :D

Late Update #2

Right now, I am munching on a slice of an apple.

By munching, I mean to imply that I'm not enjoying. By apple, I mean to imply that it's just some red fruit with meat that's too mushy and totally unlike the apples I like eating. By a slice, I mean to imply that I'm not eating anymore slices of said fruit. Bleh.

God. A life without sweets.

How long will I last. Till Easter, duh. You have discipline! (...right?) But someone seems to enjoy mocking me. Tonight, I spotted food for the gods, butterscotch, durian candy, this sugary ball thingo and (my all-time love) piaya. Why?!

In other news, I listened to the music on my (brand new) phone last night. Yes, I did complain about the sound quality of the speakers. But hot damn. I plugged my earphones in last night, and it was music heaven. Seriously. It would totally kill my iPod if it had more memory.

And in more totally unrelated news, I am glad to say I will be enjoying my Chinese-free curriculum once I graduate Xavier. And I know you might say I'm wasting all those years of Chinese education (or not), but seriously, I don't think I'll be using it any time soon. The world is globalizing (if you want to think it is), yes: that's why there are translators.

*Luis, at the moment, is being child-like and shallow. He is enjoying playing with the apple he bit but did not chew or swallow. It has formed some kind of strange but interesting shape.*

I got a C in my HSK results, which I am totally grateful for. I'm not even Chinese, so what am I bothering about? But what is bugging me is the fact that Chinese might be my downfall. My poor long test grades don't exactly bode well with my hopes of graduating with honors. Meh.

I am hoping for a miracle. Amen.

Now, I shall finish my apple. Uck. Finished.

Late Night Update#1

Hi. I'm hungry.

The only available food right now are bread, sky flakes and a cinnamon roll.

I'm not in the mood for bread or sky flakes.

Guess there's only one item left in the list. Sad to say, I've refused pastries already. See previous blogs. Good luck to me. *cries in one corner*

I kid. But seriously. Heeeeeeeeeelp.

Temptation. Temptation. Temptation.

Also, I plan to sleep early tonight.

By early, I mean not past 1. I'll take this slowly until I reach my goal of 10:00. Hehehe

That's another one of my resolutions. I should really write them down formally, shouldn't I.

(I slept at 2:30 last night finishing my reader's companion. :| Gah. To think I didn't fall asleep right away pa.)

And there goes an update. Hihi. Good night.

Oo, Bawal Ka!

I am enjoying my music tripping right now. Flamenco guitars. Janis Joplin. Billie Holiday.

Quoting Sister Act, my taste in music is eccentric. I'll listen to anything. :P

However, I shouldn't be enjoying them. Boo.

My poem won't record itself. And that project won't finish itself. God.

But I'll have two more songs before I finally send in my recordings.

Then I'll watch Almost Famous. :P

Oh yeah, have I mentioned I've been watching movies lately. (No, not the crappy MMFF entries.) Recently, I watched:

• Adam - Hugh Dancy was great in the role. Too bad he's gonna be snubbed this year. Lots of contenders. And the story was awww... Though I think I share some symptoms of Asperger's. Oh noes.
• Funny People - I wasn't satisfied, I wanted Adam Sandler to die. Lol. I'm sorry, but it just wasn't complete enough. Nabitin ako. Though it was a great movie. Bo Burnham was there, LOL. Leslie Mann and Eric Bana were amazing. Hehe. Fuck Facebook!
• Julie & Julia - Meryl Streep was wow. Haha! Hey, and give Amy Adams some credit! Gotta marry a girl who's ambitious in the kitchen. Hahaha!
• Precious - That was just WHOA. Mother fucking' bitches, it was mother fuckin' amazin'! Gabourey was great. Ang Mo'nique was mother fuckin' scary. And Paula Patton made me want to become a Harlem teacher for a few moments.
• An Education - Carey Mulligan! Totally convincing acting. I thought she really was schoolgirl age. She's 24. Wow.

Since my titles already have some kind of significance with my blog. Here's what I mean by that:

I shall now go on to an at called discipline: Bye bye, sweets (and other unhealthy food).

I know. It's sad. Why I'm doing it, I have no idea. But what the hell. Bye bye.

I think I'll set this till Easter. :D (Early on the Lenten sacrifice? IKR?)

Therefore.

1. No more candies--not even Mentos. Exception being mints when I need instant fresh breath.

2. No more chocolates. Exception being M'n'Ms but only when I'm sad.

3. No more soda. Not even zero. Not even light. Not even on special days.

4. No more Frappuccinos. No whipped cream. Only straight hot or iced coffee from Starbucks.

5. Any other drink that's not water is banned. Exception being Nescafe Latte in Can but only during show dates and days I didn't sleep.

6. No more Starbucks pastries. (Oh shit, cinnamon twist!)

7. No more chips--not that I really eat them.

8. No more unhealthy snack biscuits and the like.

9. No more pastries. Not even the cookies or the banana bread in the canteen.

10. No more pancakes, ice cream and cake. Not even on birthdays.

Instead, I shall indulge myself with... FRUITS!

:| Wish me luck.

What do I hope to achieve? I dunno exactly.

Kidding.

One, discipline. Two, better health.

Not that my sugar is high--though my cholesterol sorta is... But I can't do anything about that. Don't you just wish the canteen sold healthier food?

Anyway, that's it for now. :D

New Year

Don't you just love spending New Year's in my tita's? There're fireworks in every direction you look at. Great ones, too. (And Ai-Ai waves Happy New Year as well.)

It's a new year! Can you believe it? (Of course you do, how hard is it not to?)

If I were sentimental, I'd be blogging about all the wonderful and not-so-wonderful memories the past year has brought. But right now, I'm not, so humbug. :P

Let's make some resolutions. (And break them! Kidding...)

...I will blog more.

Yeah. I don't get to do it much anymore. Quite sad really. So this time, I'm gonna set a date. FRIDAY NIGHT IS BLOG NIGHT. Unless Friday night is party night... then Saturday afternoon is blog afternoon. (That just doesn't ring, doesn't it. Who's ever heard of event afternoon?)

...I will study better.

I don't want to be in the alanganin state I am right now. (I hope I get honors. I hope I get honors.) So for the fourth quarter, I will really work better. (It's a good thing Glee continues in April. Lol.) And for college, whether I decide to be a scholar or in one of the toughest courses (hoping I do get in there), I gotta work my ass off.

Side note: Did I mention I have to maintain a grade of 1.75 in UA&P to keep my scholarship? Is that hard? Is it worth it?

...I will get a pet fish (...sometime in the year.)

'Coz I figured I have to learn to take care of something, right?

...I will exercise.

Yes. I will. I must. So Im'ma start jogging more often. 'Coz I gotta stay healthy.

And over the summer, I will really work hardcore. Lol. I may be lol-ing, but I'm serious.

...I will use my Starbucks planner for at least 4 months.

'Coz I keep collecting but I never really use them. :|

... and for now, that's it. I'm too tired to think of anymore. :))

Hangovers and Awkward Hilarity

So what happened today? Quite a lot--or maybe not.

Today started at 12:00 in the morning.

I'd tell you what I was doing, but I don't really remember. What I do remember was that I was tinkering with my brand new phone and watching movie trailers. Oh! And I made pancakes because I got hungry.

So I headed to bed past 3am. (Yeah... so early, right?) But damn, I couldn't get myself to fall asleep. It was insomnia or something. I passed the time playing in bed with my two best friends. :> My iPod and my new phone. (What the hell were you thinking?) Because they're my best friends, they shall be called Poddy and Slick.

Slick is fun. He's like having a cross between a T-Mobile Sidekick and an iPhone.

Anyhow, I think I finally fell asleep when the sun came up. That was 6am. Unluckily, it's a Sunday, so wakey-wakey! Let's go to Mass. Strangely, we weren't all that late. Then again, we went to the 12:15 mass, so how much later can you get?

But God, it was like I was hungover on something. I couldn't get my head to concentrate. Usually, I'd have a talk show or one-person seminar in my head during Masses, but today all I heard was the sound of the Mass echoing and echoing, entering one ear and exiting the next as I stared into the Christmas lights. Gahd, that felt bad. Not to mention the lack of air conditioning made my skin feel all bad.

Yes. Aside from light headed-ness, that bad feeling in my skin is a side effect of the global phenomenon called puyat. When not in aircon, it just feels bad. I remember I barely slept one Thursday night/Friday morning: SCIENCE LAB PERIOD WAS HELL. HELL! HELLLLL!!!

(Yes, the Physics lab doesn't have air conditioning just in case you didn't know.)

Anyhow. Moving on. We went to Shang, and I was still woozy. Note: I was bumping into things and tripping. And it's not just my normal klutziness.

I went to Gap but didn't get the sweater I want. I thought about it again... it seems a bit too loose for me. I'll try it once more, and I'll see what happens then...

Anyhow. Fast forward to home. It's family get-together day with the father's side. Weeee. (Note small hint of sarcasm.) I just have to say it's awkwardness to another level. I don't really relate that well with those who are sorta my age--quite strange since they're my neighbors. Usually, I stay inside the house, but since my mom wasn't able to plan some office Christmas party on the same day, she got me to accompany her with the awkwardness.

I just have to say: My mom + Father's side get-together = Awkward Hilarity. Amen.

Anyhow, when it was getting too dark, I went inside and read me some Twisted. Jessica Zafra is a goddess--in writing that is. Then I watched HIMYM.

Aww, Ted. Aren't we all just looking for love?

Alyson Hannigan has to be given more props. NPH is hogging all the spotlight, but nonetheless he's pretty fucking legen--wait for it, and I hope your not lactose intolerant 'cause the next word is--dary! (Yeah... if you've forgotten about the first season, you'll prolly think that dragged too long. Haha!)

Lessons Learned from a McDonald's Shop

I just finished (meaning paused) my HIMYM marathon to accompany my dad to get a meal at McDonald's. He ate more during the family get-together, so I dunno why he's starved.

Anyhow. We went to the one in the intersection between Meralco and Ortigas Ave. The ony in the Shell station. So he left to find a table while I ordered with an American accent. (Yeah. It's fun screwing around with people's heads... y'know, if you that counts as screwing with people's heads.)

So while I was waiting for my order (heaven only knows why only one person was at the counter), there was this taong grasa who came in and started putting together all the money that was collected. So I looked around for other people's reactions 'cause... well, I love looking at people's reactions. Basically, nil. No one really cared.

Well... except for these two ladies in one corner who had this look of disgust. Quite sad. So I finally got my fries after giving this other lady the look that said "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FRIES, B----?" Kidding. I asked politely--with a half-irritated tone. I looked over at the two ladies again, but the other one went missing.

So I walked over to the table with food in hand. Sitting down proved pointless however since my dad wanted more ketchup. (Why the hell do they give only two at a time?) I walked back to the counter, and I saw an awww moment.

Apparently, I was wrong. It was a look of concern. Before leaving through the door, the two ladies gave the taong grasa woman two plastic bags of food. I didn't really notice, but the woman also had a baby on her shoulder and a three-year-old child with her.

Who knew? That was just pretty fucking sweet.

There are people out there. And in places unexpected, too.

So this blog is dedicated to you, two ladies! Drinks on the house! (Or not...)

Well. You got nice people and you got shit people.

Fast forward to eating my apple pie and sundae (Yum!). There was this family in the table behind me who made a rude comment. I don't remember exactly what about but it involved Intsik and laway. I wanted to turn around and squint my eyes. (Biaoxi! Or however you spell that. God. I'm in a Chinese school, and I don't even know how to curse.)

Yeah, Chinese bros, I hear ya! Peace out!

Other lessons learned?

I need to find me a midnight barkada. In one table there were these four dudes who were in pambahay lang. (God, don't you love my ever-improving conyo skills?) just, I dunno, hanging out. And I realized the following: (a) it's fun to just hang out with friends doing nothing, (b) I get bored a lot of midnights, (c) I need to find friend who live close by. So yeah, it'd be fun to have an out-of-the-blue call in the evening: "Dude, McDo tayo?" And then I go pick up Carla and call up Jake to call with. And we all head to Starbucks or McDonald's and stuff. No?

**Names are fictitious. Introduce me?

So maybe that isn't a lesson. But whatever...

And that's what I learned from a trip to McDonald's. :D

Just Say Yes!

I quote Kim: "Today's the best day to end the [school] year."

Not verbatim! (Nag-quote pa ako :|)

I agree.

Congratulations to the Xmass Comm. You guys put up one hell of a show. Really proud. It's a good thing you didn't keep "in theme." ;)

I enjoyed this year's MRX--and apparently the last one ever in high school. When it started, we already knew it would turn out pretty well: who would've thought you could get Ms. Pasiliao to be GaGa for a day? Hehe. Mr Acosta doing Single Ladies--bigay na bigay pa! Sa'n ka pa?

One thing bugs me though. Who the hell is number one? In fact, who placed what? I don't even think there was even a Top 10. I only remember 10 performers--and two of them were just placed in there by random gigs.

Anyhow. It was great to see Ms. Lopez sing! Hehe. Even if I didn't vote in MRX this year due to insufficient funds o.O, I still got my wish. :D (The one I've been bugging her about with drawings on the blackboard.)

Oh! And Red Velvet Skies. The best band Xavier's had since Mau. ;)

Go Ferdie! :D

But the real highligt of the day didn't even last more than ten seconds.

"It's a love story. Barbs, just say yes!" Mr. Yu FTW! Cue crowd uproar. *raaaaaaaaaaaaa*

And MRX this year was a total success!

Classroom party was fun. My Grahams Fridge Cake Thingo was a hit. ;)

Fast forward, we went to Greenhills. Did some Christmas shopping. But that wasn't the highlight of the day. AVATAR was.

Gahd. Ten years in the making. It was BRRRRILLIANT. Seriously. Epic.

To think I wasn't that interested in it in the beginning.

And that's the end of my o-some day. :D

I've got a busy break ahead of me. I've got less than a week to make Christmas cards and a certain gift. I still have to buy Christmas gifts. And I have get-togethers to go to. Not to mention all the English homework I have to do. Hay carajo. Wish me luck.

Catch Up

It's been a looooooooooooooooong time!

New year's resolution: blog more! Hehe.

Well, if you've been stuck under a cave (or piles of homework), the date's December 17. Yes, it's the last day of actual classes. Thank God--or should I say Emmanuel?

I still have a couple of things to do such as rewriting my missing Chinese journal (#$@#!@#&!!) and doing shit for a couple of shit. But I'm putting that off to be here. Awww.

(Wow. My head's so scattered. I'm just blabbing it all out on this blog.)

My last actual blog was twelve days ago, and Gahd! so much stuff I've missed.

1. Tuko!

My directorial debut. Hehe. The night before the first show, I finally surpassed The Giver and stayed till 11:30. w00t! It was pretty fucking hectic--that's an understatement.

But we made it through, and I'm pretty fucking proud of everyone--that's an understatement. I've yet to write my congratulatory message: it's just that I've been so stressed with stress that I haven't the time to do so. But we had three great shows. We did pretty well. And comments are awesome. I'm really proud! Go FX!

(And no, our first show wasn't our first run! :P Beat that!)

2. Sampayan!

Yes. My crazy little class play. It went strangely well. Yes, again I directed. Yes, again I'm proud of everyone. Only an hour or two before the show did we actually have our first run, and goddamn, I would've walked out of it if I weren't so involved. But come showtime, they delivered better than I thought they would, and I'm pretty fuckin' proud of my class for pulling it through!

And might I say... GAH! That's it. (Mark knows what I mean. ;-) )

What are the chances Xavier will ever call me to come back and judge these things? Hehe.

3. Academics

I'm fucking worried. Yes I am. Mostly about Chinese and English.

Shocker, right?! ENGLISH. It's like Mr. Legaspi's deadly checkup quizzes only for poets.

Why were two separate entities born? Why can't we have an Anne Sylvia Sexton-Plath or something? That way, I wouldn't mistake one for the other. :| Fucking 10. (No, not over 10, mind you.)

Then there are my bad Chinese MTs. The first one, I studied well, but apparently not well enough. The second, ah well, I haven't the results yet, but I bet they aren't good news.

I want to graduate with honors! Pleeeeeease. Christmas gift lang po!

4. Christmas

It's near! And I've so much to do.

• Christmas shopping
• Make Christmas card
• Make a Christmas gift (Not to mention buy the stuff I need)
• Christmas reunions/parties
• et cetera. Gahd.

Anyhow. I'm getting sleepy. So Im'ma move on. Hehe.

But hell yeah, I will be back soon. :D

For those who lost the list of books:

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

-- About murder

-- Adapted into a 1967 film

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

-- Pulitzer Prize for Fiction

-- About a transexual

-- Most recent book

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

-- A bit weird but a good book

-- Adapted into a 1970 film

The Cider House Rules by John Irving

-- Abortion, Orphans, Sex

-- Adapted into a 1999 film

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

-- About a deaf man

-- Adapted into a 1968 film

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

-- The longest but makes for good conversations

-- About an architect

-- Adapted into a 1949 film

Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut

-- Anti-war science fiction film

-- Adapted into a 1979 film

For those who lost the list of books:

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

-- About murder

-- Adapted into a 1967 film

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

-- Pulitzer Prize for Fiction

-- About a transexual

-- Most recent book

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

-- A bit weird but a good book

-- Adapted into a 1970 film

The Cider House Rules by John Irving

-- Abortion, Orphans, Sex

-- Adapted into a 1999 film

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

-- About a deaf man

-- Adapted into a 1968 film

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

-- The longest but makes for good conversations

-- About an architect

-- Adapted into a 1949 film

Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut

-- Anti-war science fiction film

-- Adapted into a 1979 film

For those who lost the list of books:

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

-- About murder

-- Adapted into a 1967 film

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

-- Pulitzer Prize for Fiction

-- About a transexual

-- Most recent book

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

-- A bit weird but a good book

-- Adapted into a 1970 film

The Cider House Rules by John Irving

-- Abortion, Orphans, Sex

-- Adapted into a 1999 film

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

-- About a deaf man

-- Adapted into a 1968 film

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

-- The longest but makes for good conversations

-- About an architect

-- Adapted into a 1949 film

Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut

-- Anti-war science fiction film

-- Adapted into a 1979 film

For those who lost the list of books:

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

-- About murder

-- Adapted into a 1967 film

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

-- Pulitzer Prize for Fiction

-- About a transexual

-- Most recent book

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

-- A bit weird but a good book

-- Adapted into a 1970 film

The Cider House Rules by John Irving

-- Abortion, Orphans, Sex

-- Adapted into a 1999 film

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

-- About a deaf man

-- Adapted into a 1968 film

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

-- The longest but makes for good conversations

-- About an architect

-- Adapted into a 1949 film

Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut

-- Anti-war science fiction film

-- Adapted into a 1979 film

Burnout

Gahd. I don't even remember the last time I blogged... seriously.

Life today is full of stress. And you know you're really stressed when you're losing weight without actually jogging around the track oval...

OMG! I'm losing weight! Woohoo! (Or not.)

But I guess today is total burnout day. Either that or I'm just too worried about something beyond my life. Mark that under psychological stress.

I haven't been letting the stress get to me, usually. I mean the past few days have just been... ugh. But I guess, I've been jumping around through them. Today though was quite... different.

For most of the day, I've been sheepishly and sluggishly going through all my subjects. And once again, I slept through my lunch period in the infirmary. Don't you just love the scent of medicine? (Though I'm annoyed at how noisy it's become in there.)

I didn't have a fever, which is good, but I just felt exhausted... totally. I could barely climb up the stairs. But as I just said, emotion has a lot to do with the workings of today's events. I don't think I want to dwell on that. It's a bit too... personal.

Strangely, I was able to gather up enough energy to be hyper enough to work through the FX meeting. Guess that says something. So do me a favor and watch the show! It's going to be great.

.

Where was I? Oh yes.

I would like to report that my t-shirt business is a success. Thanks to all those who bought! And thanks to my really hardworking groupmates! You guys are awesome! :D

The bazaar was fun. Cookie Claus, I hate how I spent so much money on you. :|

I bought Christmas gifts already, so I'm happy. I also got this battery-powered hand fan. It even has this word-whatever-thingo. :D

Sunday night, Patring, Kim, Stef and I watched A Christmas Carol. It got me into temporary Christmas mood. :D I had a fun night...

.

I guess in my passive blog state, I've missed out on telling you all the other things I've done.

Sigh. I'll try to update more. This feels good--stress reliever. I miss blogging.

(Poems coming soon. I have two more in the anger series that just need some editing and one I just made a while ago.)

You Cannot Hate On Me

READ: http://operaghost.multiply.com/journal/item/978/The_Song_of_my_Rant

I guess I didn't have to do it myself. ;)

Don't you just love how this song applies?

I'm not saying it's entirely your fault. Because admittedly, we did screw up big time. It's our voices that were heard. But seriously, you're not even fit to look us in the eye. I don't know what kind of egotism you have to even think you can do this job.

Mind you, you're as much a part of this as everyone else.

And I'd just like to say we sound better when you aren't anywhere in the vicinity. Only two times did we ever really enjoy what we were doing, and it didn't involve you in the picture.

"OH! Bakit mukha kayong mga patay? Stress ba sa school?"

You kidding me?

The Probable Cause to Your Probable Execution

I'm a god.

Well, not really.

Either way, I impressed UA&P enough for them to offer me a 100% scholarship. Yes, I was offered a friggin' hundred percent. Shocked? So am I. Not shocked? Gee, thanks ha! You talaga! Di naman! *blush*

I had my scholarship 'interview' last Friday, and after a few questions, the admission lady asked me if I would enroll right away if they offer me a hundred percent scholarship.

Now, I was curious as to what she was driving at. A hundred percent. Was she using it for hypothetical purposes? Was she actually considering giving me the hundred percent? Why is she asking me this now, aren't results coming out on January? Am I in already? Will I die of cancer?

Well, after avoiding the question WHY a million times by proclaiming the very safe 'I'm weighing out which course I want most,' she spilled the beans and said, 'We're seriously considering giving you a hundred percent scholarship.' I was dumbstruck, like a bee had come to stung me, and it stung me hard. Bzzz!

So the conversation went on the topic of what college I would choose. I think we both knew that I want Ateneo, seeing as she kept drilling me about it. But I, being the very backstabbing-balimbing person that I am, laid out the safety net below me. Well of course, who wouldn't? I'm not dumb enough to tell them truth, now am I?

Sidenote:

She actually conceded defeat to Ateneo--well, partially: I told her the courses I listed for both colleges were Communications and Management. She stressed how much UA&P's communications program was for superior, but didn't say a word of defense for their top course. Hihi.

We took a break from the cat and mouse game for a while. She started asking me about my views--and you know I'm liberal--when it comes to contraceptives and same-sex unions. Gahd. Those made for some fine awkward moments. Of course, I put in mind the school was run by Opus Dei people.

She first asked about contraceptives, and it's as if bird shit dropped out of nowhere. We were somewhere in the courting process when she just brought it up. At first, I was, "whut?!?!" I was caught off-guard with that one. I believe my vocabulary flew out the (inexistent) window. I was struggling with my words until I finally said 'use it but, if at all possible, abstain.'

Then she asked me about same-sex unions, which probably made up a fourth of the time I spent in that room. I think I was looking from a lawyer's point of view delving on marriage rights and discrimination, and she was asking me other stuff. And I just wasn't thinking straight, so I ended with "I respect them," which she translated into "so you don't care about what others in society say?" which I agreed with. End of discussion, finally. Gahd, this is messed up.

I think the awkward silences I was sprouting made for the sudden rise in birth population of gay babies in the world. (If you don't understand, don't try to. It's a not-so inside joke between me and some fellow crazy people.)

But my longest moment of silence was when she asked me about my idol. I obviously have none in my life. Well, fine there are some in just a few aspects, but none so seriously as to make a monumental crater on my existence. After much umms and hmms and 'I never really thought about that,' I finally conceded with my mom.

Anyhow, after leaving the courting department and some obviously awkward questions, she just said it straight up. I'm offering you a scholarship of a hundred percent tuition. (Or something to that effect.) Add to that, if I graduate with honors (which I shall), they're going to give me perks as well. Haha!

For some reason, Spain comes to mind. (Oh Vicky Cristina Barcelona!) Seeing as how I may get additional perks, I wonder what Charles is getting. After all, he is the class salutatorian/valedictorian? (Kyne's going to hit my if I put valedictorian first. I don't think Charles bites anyway, and he's all the way in China.)

Anyhow, that doesn't change my plans. I'm blue-blooded. I've sort of established that somewhere along the line, haven't I? Though my hopes are low for a merit, I'm still hoping. That way, it's going to be a bit easier to argue my way out of free education. Haha!

So I left the room all giddy. I may not really want it, but hell, who wouldn't have his kilig moments while walking back to the gate after finding out he got a hundred percent scholarship in the school whose ground he's walking at. I think I would've burst out in dance if I weren't so self-conscious.

Wow. I can't believe I made a whole blog out of that.

I was only planning to write a paragraph and move on to some other topic.