Huwaw. What an experience. :D
Before anything, i'd like to quote my friend:
As you guys are well aware we aren't supposed to say anything about what happened during the Days right. But I would just like to write down everything that was going through my mind during The Weekend with Jess. So please, I trust you people well enough not to go around posting this and spoiling the fun for everyone else. So please, if you think of posting this, please don't. (Warning Long entry)
Alright.
So yeah. Thursday, the 28th of August.
I basically crammed shining my coin using the Glo I luckily bought. I crammed packing all my clothes. Crammer talaga. :| Since it was PTC day on Friday, hindi kami pinayahang mag-civilian. Sigh. Dagdag karga.
Basically, no feelings. Siguro kaunting pananabik habang nag-shi-shine ng coin. Syempre, proud akong napakakintab niya. Aside from those moments, wala. Blank.
Friday, the 9th of August.
Same old, same old. (I ate two bars of KitKat during recess.) I didn't help fix the classroom because (1) I was still being nosy and noisy, (2) i was still packing.
Anyhow, after lots of waiting--in hunger--I ate lunch with CJ and Kim at T-Boy. Syempre, we're such kids-at-heart, sinagot namin ung spot-the-difference na place mat nila. We couldn't find the last 2. :| While eating, CJ was giving out his advise na. Kaunting "spoilers." T-Boy basically made me broke. I only had a few more than ten pesos in my wallet.
So bumalik na kami nina Kim sa school. I bugged Perps a bit. Then we bugged Toshi. Then Perps wouldn't want to be bugged again. (Mr. Lapena deserves on half of the room. Dapat din mas marami siyang upuan.) We left an hour before dun-dun-dun.
So we went to the gs canteen. I changed and ran off into a corner so that no one would bug me whilst I polished my coin. Lumapit ako past 4, when as suspected, humingi silang lahat ng Glo. :|
Before 4:15, nothing. No emotions. Not really excited or scared or anything. Dunno why. Pareho kami ni Kim.
DOUBT THE FIRST
So iyon we lined up. Pinagalitan kami agad. Pinapasok ang first line. Ang lakas ng mga hiyaw. Habang pumapasok kami, saka lang nag-sink in. I got nervous. Really nervous. Noong nakapasok na ako, shit.
Natakot ako. I'm like.... fuck fuck fuck. When all that sank in, and I began to get tired, iba naman ang feeling. Nainis ako. I'm like fuck u fuck u fuck u. Anyhow, to rest my outstretched arms, I would make them lean on the grooves of the lecture hall walls when no one was nearby. (Iniisip ko rin kung anong klaseng pagtatakas ang pwede kong gawin... tutal memorize ko na ang lahat ng mga sikreto ng lecture hall. Hehehe.)
Anyhow, they made half our row do ten pushups. And because we didn't say thank you, ten more. (WTF would I thank you for giving me pain, master? was more like it, i thought.) Anyhow, nangawit ulit kami, but they sort of relieved us by shortening the wingspan.
And then we did more pushups. 20 raw for the whole row. By the tenth my arms started hurting. I have never felt my vein or muscle being strained. It was awfully painful. The annoying part is we forgot to thank them... again. 15 more! Pucha!
So there... Sindakan was over. We lined up again with their complicated system. And then we did a count off. I was friggin scared that I really memorized my number. (I dunno what it is na. But I think it's 12 or 11.) Then they made us walk heads down into the Louis Papilla Center.
And then there were people singing on the ramps. I swear I felt the presence of Marquis and Wesley. Lol. But yeah, I supposed they were our "dazers." Whatever that meant.
So there, we entered our room. Now peke lang pala iyon lahat. Everyone was nice na. :| So we surrendered our watches (their so watch-conscious they even covered the hall clocks with black trash bags. lol)
Okay. So first we went to the chapel a.k.a. Holy Daze Inn a.k.a HoDaI. On the way there we passed by KFC (Kitchen for Christ) with the scariest picture of Jesus I had ever seen.
So there. We were introduced. We were given nicknames. (with my dad giving out the strangest information. the only one i appreciated was the embarassing moment... everything else was kulang or untrue.) Somehow, I Kissed a Girl got stuck in my head. :|
We had a rest break. I think I was stil subconsciouly scared that by this time I still memorized my number and I was still facing down. Lol.
Back to the HoDai, Mr. Yu gave a talk on finding meaning in our lives. (all the while, Purpose from Avenue Q was ringing in my head--it's that little flame that lights a fire under your ass.) I didn't fall asleep here. Why? I was too paranoid about whatever and whoever.
After his talk was Mr. Pet. (Did I get his name right?) His talk was nice as well, he told us about his contrasting Mom and Dad. Sadly, I forgot the topic. :|
Anyhow, after both talks, we went to the Disco. Unlike most, I was not acquainted of the rumor of the dancing girls. In fact, I knew it meant discovery. Why? Blame the Days with the Lord book Fr. Mena wrote and left in the archives for me to read while in High One or Grade Seven. I knew we did pray there.
But what I didn't know that D'Boss Disco (Open 24 Hours) smelled really good. I didn't know that there was a table in the middle of the room with two candles. Not did I know there was a monstrance on it. (nor did I know what a montrance was till after the first encounter. apparently, i wasn't listening to the intro at the HoDaI. neither did i put it together to think that was a monstrance. i could be so stupid.)
Well. I knew about Jess already. (blame Allen for calling out to him in some of his blogs. i sort of figured out that Jess couldn't have been his physical best friend and had to be his personal nickname for Jesus. what I didn't know was that the name came from here.)
The experience opened my eyes a little bit more. But I never spoke while there... at least not on the first day.
We ate dinner at KFC. Fortunately, I didn't hear about the laxative rumors.
Either way, our class are like pigs. At the end of Days, I heard that we ate the most among the three batches.
Kim was a constant center of attention. ABU Sayyaf Shit Thingy daw.
Then we were made to sleep. Charles warned me that this was it. Na kukunin kami if we fell asleep kaya kailangan gising kami. So there I went. I laid down on my bed. Looking at the lights to distract myself from sleep. And then...
I was waken up. Damn. I'm bad at keeping awake. Why? Back to the story. I was awoken by someone with a harsh tone. (Jonathan told me later it took me a while. :| nothing new there) Then we went outside the room.
Fortunately, I was not informed about the rumor of shouting Praise the Lord, Alleluia! (Up till now, i crack up just thinking about someone shouting it.) So I was told to take off my top and they used it to blindfold me. Then we started walking:
He asked if I was sleepy. I answered yes. His voice was rough. I thought he was going to hurt me. Instead, he made me flap my right arm like a bird. o.O He asked again, thinking there still was a punishment, I used voice projection to blur my not-really-still-a-bit. Lol. Nagtaka na lang siya pero wala na siyang ginawa dahil we reached our destination.
Dahil halos memorize ko na ang EED. At dahil para akong paniki na may super powers. I knew we were in the canteen. The place was hollow e at nage-echo ang sound. I was made to sit down and someone interviewed me. He told me we were alone. But I felt a presence at the corner of the room. Walking. Coughing. Or maybe it was him from all the echoes?
Anyhow. There it went. I won't divulge what happened... basically it was a light talk. (all the while trying to conceal my fats. lol) But it made me realize how much I don't do for Jess. (gets ba?) Then, we made our BILs to be confirmed with shouting Basta Ikaw Lord!
I was given back my shirt to wear at nagpakilala ang aking interviewer. Galvin Ong. Salamat nang sobra! Talagang nalinawagan ako. He lead me to a bigger Disco on the second floor. It was pitch black and I was alone. When I entered, the sight was beautiful. I wish I had a camera.
I sat in front of the monstrance. Again, I didn't talk aloud. But I was talking in my head. Smiling, laughing ang whatnot dahil masaya ang usapan. May tatlo pang pumasok. Lumabas din sila. I was the last to leave.
Apparently, I was also the second to the last to enter the other room. Our staffers sang We've Only Just Begun in candlelight. Nakakasalang ng puso. :D Then, the interviewers were introduced. (I saw CY) Sadly, I was blind... wala akong salamin. We were then given Gonuts and Juice. :D BIL Night.
Back to room. I couldn't sleep what with all the sugar. Mykee showed me his rosary. And something inside me said... pray! So I did. While everyone was starting to sleep (I heard someone snoring), I was praying. I even prayed one whole decade in Tagalog. (I couldn't keep it up.) I fell asleep afterwards.
WEEP THE SECOND
Good morning sunshine! The earth says hello! o.O
I was freezing. Totally. But worst was we went into the Disco where it was colder. o.O (sa sobrang cranky--or as edric puts it, taray--ko, kinukutya ko na sa sarili ko na parang puro cle answers ang mga sinasabi nila.)
We left the room. Rest break. Breakfast. I LOVED THE HOT CHOCOLATE. Especially because it was HOT. It warmed me up and got rid of my colds. Thank you!
So there. We had a few more talks in the HoDaI and a few more visits to the Disco right after.
The first talk was on having a goal thanks to an alumnus whom I forgot. (i'm sorry. if it helps in identifying you, you just finished ur thiesis in your economics course at ateneo. you used to be in the basketball varsity. :D).
The second was from Arnie. He was probably the most convincing speaker... ever. I applaud him. He was both straight-to-the-point, witty, comic and learned. He told of the story of one of the candidates he was putting under BIL night. The kid amazed me... he was smart to keep a bad rep without hurting a fly. But his change also struck. This one was about taking off our masks.
The next is another alumnus (i'm sorry again.) as everyone is. He was holding back his tears but he sort of broke down. I was struck a lot by him. He read his mom's last letter and it made my eyes damp. (hindi pa watery) Affected ako.
Anyhow, after the Disco session (where I finally spoke). We were given the Confession of the Century. I chose the Atenean priest para bago naman. Nahihiya rin kasi ako sa mga Xavier priests.
Instead of following the normal routine, nagpakapasaway ako at indinrwoing ko ang aking mga kasalanan... symbolically ha hindi ung drowing talaga. So yun... the Fr. mananzan was very understanding. :D
BTW. I forgot to mention: we were showered with Spanish bread. Love. Hahahaha!
Also, Kim, Nathan, Mark and I played tug of war with my blanket. Saya sobra! Pero nang may nasaktan at nag-inarte (jowk! peace!), huminto na kami.
Hayun na... tinakot na kami. Sa board, inilagay: Project 3 ako. Yikes. I don't know where that is (malapit lang pala sa Cubao). Kasama ko si Kim, Dustin and Mark. o.O Paano kami nagkasama-sama? Ayoko.
Pero I was doubting this na. Kim told me CJ went to Project 3. But CJ told me he walked. AS far as I know, you cannot walk the whole way. Aside from that, I heard somone say they were just pseudonyms to parts of Xavier we have to walk blindfolded from.
But syempre, natakot pa rin ako. "Who knows Project 3? 2 or 4 man lang? Hello?!?!" "Hoy, para may pambayad tayo sa jeep, kakanta tayo ha." "Let's do the Crying Ladies technique." At kung anu-ano pa.
Si Kim nagpapatago ng 15 pesos na binigay ko na lang kay Mark. Si Kim, jumi-jingle ang paa. (Si Charles siguro nagsuksok ng bills sa damit niya. :| )
Sabi nila bawal ang medyas. Quick thinking kasi pinaglalaruan niya ang kanyang Old Spice deodorant na hindi pa niya nagagamit kasi mas gusto niya ang hard stick. (apparently, that came from the John Robert Powers talk from last year pa) He kept dabbing it on everyone a few hours ago. (kaya nag-amoy deodorant ang ulo ko habang nagco-confession)
Back to topic: I read the label ng deodorant. Anti-perspirant. At dahil walang nagdala ng foot powder. Naglagay ako sa aking paa. WAHAHAHAHAHAH! Pati rin si Mark nung nakita ako. Pero ikinahiya niya ako at nagtodo-deny nang makita ako ni Mr. Ang. Tawanan lahat. Pati ako. Pero tumawa sila all they want. Effective! The side that wasn't washed and dried (sa later portion) was still dry. :P
Anyhow. So yun. We got ready. We lined up. Tapos we went to a Special Classroom (the one we use for Chi Adv). Peke nga. Ngek. And then we went on the Way of the Cross. One more interactive and realistic.
I don't wanna go into much detail into it. But here are some stuff: Our feet were washed. (see foot deodorant) JCS was played. I noticed Wesley (halatang-halata talaga sa tayo kahit madilim). The fire was attractive. The mob was fantastic in shouting. The coin shining was wasted. (which I guess was the message on our part: to feel how it is to work hard on something only to be thrown away. or in the mababaw sense para maging true to the scripture na silver) One of the readers was amazing with his "purgation of emotions." Peace was lovely. The shadows were beautiful.
The activity was tiring. But it was worth it. I guess my favorite part was Mary's station. Not because of the aircon, but because the song was beautiful and the message was endearing.
So we went on to the Disco room with the Paschal candle this time. And we sang--albeit out of tune--beautifully. Deep in my heart I do believe we shall overcome. This moment was magic in my eyes. Priceless.
After this was Crow Bar night. Palancas. I thought Palanca means love like the Ilonggo Palangga (o see... i know ilonggo a bit from my maids. hehe) Mali pala ako. Anyhow... we went into a rearraged HoDaI. We were serenaded and we read the contents of our box. It was a beautiful moment almost everyone was in tears.
I read mine. Sabi nga, ung nasa envelope muna. I was teary-eyed (though it didn't drop... bakit ganito lagi? hanggang dito lang abot) when I read my dad's. It made me so so. omg. Sigh. Sota panira ng mood ung sa mom ko kasi it made me remember bad times pero siguro this is a reopener to what would happen mamaya. I got letters from people I didn't expect to get from and I was touched with what they said. My maids. My uncle from the States that I've never talked to. My two religious titas. My other uncle who's visiting. I had laughs with my "ate's." I enjoyed my "kuya's." (Apparently, kuya also went through it din---ateneo nga diba.) And I was deeply touched by my "sister's."
The first non-family I read was Paul's whose letter was placed right on top. I laughed the whole way through. Not because i wasn't affected by it... which I was. But because the letter was so Paul. I miss him na. I also read a lot of the other letters. Really heartfelt. Even from those I'm not that close with. :D Thank you so much!
That night was emotional. (though i felt i was missing palancas. which in fact, i found out, i was.) It was soo.... heartfelt. It made me realize the people in my life. How much they love me and what they mean to me.
So we had solo flight. I basically messed up their setup by moving the pillow and the movable banig to the other end of the room. :| I fixed it din no. That moment was very... ayoko nang pag-usapan.
Then solo way. GAHD! The cross was heavy. Lifting it off the shelf was like out of balance! Turning around was another story. And walking with it was even more. Annoying part was Kim didn't wanna switch sides so I had to bring it all back. (he tried carrying it but called for help kasi di kinaya) Syempre, dahil tinulungan ko siya I lacked time kaya rushed ang message ko sa cross. Edric kasi minamabilis ako. :| Peace!
Then, sleep.
TRUST THE THIRD
We were woken up by serenade. I think was the last to be awoken. :| But I heard their song in my dreams. I think I was drinking coffee in that dream habang may kumakanta. Gising was beautiful.
Disco ulit na kay lamig-lamig. Breakfast. Bath.
The next talk was from Harbo. He was part one of Brave, Loyal and Loving Hearts. His talk was very laid back and nice. I enjoyed a lot.
The next was from Rainier. I was way sleepy for the most of the start. But when he went on to the ending part, I was captivated. His story was beautiful and inspiring. As he was in tears reading his dad's letter, I was totally struck.
The Disco moment was really emotional. Everyone was crying. The talk really hit us all.
I finally figured out why I don't have tears. They go down my throat rather than my eyes. As such, no tears but my voice cracks bad. (Reminds me of the final show with Allen.)
I talked again. Voice all cracked. Really, really sad. (oh shoot. here i go again) I realized a whole lot during this event. A whole lot. It was the biggest truning point.
Quite sad that my seatmate Weston was NR. (if you know what i mean.) So there we were. After lunch, one more talk from Mr. Oliver. Beautiful speech.
Then, our last Disco. This moment was really beautiful for us. I sorely miss the Disco. I just wish I said more when I had the chance. :( Then we made our last ritual: we had our arms over Jess shouting Basta Ikaw Lord.
Then we wrote a letter to Jess. Then to our parents. God this was emotional for me. (and for the others too based on the tissue passed around the sniffs echoing out) This time, tears really fell. And it was intense for me. I'm not really a person who tells much about myself... but I just let it all out on this one. It was beautiful. It was emotional. It was sad.
Moving on. We had quite a feast for meriendacena. Yum! The staffers sang to us one last time then poured water all over Rector DJ :D. We then had one final talk. And off we went to the Mass.
It was really different. It was heart-warming to be with everyone. It was beautiful (how many times have i repeated that? archie costello. what a book.)
Pero tsk. Sponsor ko di dumating. Nagtaka-taka pa ako sa nag-proxy. Sana sinabi niya nang mas maaga (like during the entrance or at least sa communion) nang di ako nag-aalala. (Gahd! nakakahiya! I don't know the guy but he knows me and he did all this sponsor-work for me. Baka kilala ko. He's somewhere in there. Yikes.)
Finally. It was all over. It was a feautiful experience. I loved Days. But wait... there's more.
We made what could've been the class's best (and maybe only) attempt at a group hug. We said our goodbye's and thank-you's. We laughed together. We felt united. :D We walked in shying away, but we were about to exit better and stronger.
LIVE THE FOURTH
The exit was done one by one. And it was beautiful. Everyone was cheering us on. Mine felt wonderful. Something more than a graduation march. (I can finally take that out of my "greatest achievement" on guidance counselor sheets.)
Most of all, (although so corny and cheesy) it felt like the prodigal son running back to his father. My parents and Trisha were waiting for me at the end. It was beautiful. Really beautiful.
We had dinner at Amici's (food was GREAAAAAAT!) with the rest of my family. I feel so blessed to have them and see them. And I can't believe we were actually celebrating my days. Hehehe. But it truly is worth celebrating.
Days was priceless. It was life-changing. I'm proud.
(the CD was a let down though. it didn't have the good songs. we've only just begun (hearing it on acoustic guitar is better than the carpenter's), we shall overcome (god it's hard to find a decent version), the updates mass songs... and Most of all.. Day by Day, Shalom and Gising
Oh yeah... does anyone remember the song we sang for the staffers during the Mass?)
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